The Begining - Eva finds out whats causing her to go blind.

Fear! Its not something you can control! It rises up with prickling heat until it’s consumed you. Leaving your body sweaty and shivering, your nerves painfully raw and your heart thumping an uncontrollable beat.

Blindness! It wraps around you like a blanket locking you in its dark depths and feeding your fear.

Psychosomatic blindness caused by fear... terrifying! A vicious circle, a never ending darkness that claws at your soul until you no longer pray for light.

How do you control something you can’t see, can’t hold. Its like a rainbow, you can see the end, you know its there. But you can't grasp it, and the harder you try the more frustrated you get.

***

Prologue

Having been referred to a hypnotist to uncover why fear robbed her of her sight, she made her way into the white office. Her mind searching through memories like tumble weeds crossing the desert with no fixed point. Try as she might, she couldn’t pinpoint the moment her mind decided to lock down her vision when afraid. Eva let out the breath she had been holding, she had no idea why this was happening, couldn’t fathom what would cause it, this was her last hope, all other avenues exhausted.

At least she was able to see at the moment, how long it would last this time was anyone’s guess.

It was all in her head, she was mentally incapable of dealing with fear like a rational twenty-two year old. If only she could understand why this was happening, she might be able to deal with it and stop it. Living blind was a nightmare, one she desperately wanted to wake up from. Worse than being blind was the constant worry that her sight could go any time, any place, which spurred on the fear and inevitably took her sight.

“Miss Night, I’m Dr Randy Scott.” Eva snapped her head up at his ridiculous name, as he held out his hand to her.

Now how on earth was she meant to take him seriously with a name like Randy. Randy, the Scottish word for Horney! She felt her cheeks tugging her lips into a grin, trying hard not to laugh she bit down on her cheek, drawing blood. Pain helped her concentrate but the coppery taste running down her throat almost made her gag.

“Please. Call me Eva.” she said taking his offered hand.

Enormous floor to ceiling windows greeted her. Bathing the whole room and highlighting a huge, sink-in-to soft couch and reclining chair, set around a coffee table, ‘very homey’ she thought. Again she held back the childish giggles that where threatening to burst forth, whether from nerves or the simple fact that she couldn’t call him Randy and take him seriously, didn’t really matter. Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply to refocus and banish her childishness. It had no place here. He had come highly recommended. This was her last hope of understanding and defeating her stubborn brain.

“If you’d like to take a seat, we can get started when you’re ready.” Dr Scott informed her.

Eva sat on the couch, back straight, legs crossed at her ankles, hands placed in her lap, waiting for instructions. Having never done anything like this before, she had no idea how to precede, a feeling of unease coiling through her, colliding with the nausea from earlier. She swallowed hard, no way could she throw up on this white carpet. She was mortified enough without that.

“Eva, there’s no need to feel nervous. Please relax! Make yourself comfortable. Maybe you would feel better sitting in the recliner?” Dr Scott’s tone was like velvet, soft and warm, it soothed her raw nerves and made her feel comfortable.

What the hell, in for a penny in for a pound, she thought, kicking off her shoes and swinging up her feet. She laid her head on the huge cushion, staring at the ceiling was far better than looking at his questioning face anyway.

“What should I do now?” she questioned.

“I’d like you to take slow, deep, cleansing breaths. Hold it for a moment then let it out with your anxiety. Let it drain from your body as your breath leaves your lungs...........”

His voice was having strange effect on her. She found herself drifting, her body felt light and incorporeal. His words made no sense after a while but the tone, the tone was mesmerising.

***

Chapter One



An ear piercing scream rent the air. Taking with it, all the air from her lungs.

“Eva, Its Dr Scott, you’re ok. Breathe... come on breathe, you’re back with me know, it’s all over, you’re ok, but you must breathe!”

She felt her pressure on her upper arms and her body being giggled up and down. Her lungs felt like stone, compressed and heavy. Her mind blank, where the hell was she? She blinked open her eyes. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She was blind. Lifting her hands to her face, she wiped the tears from her eyes, gasping, she inflated her compressed lungs. Had that been her screaming? Her scratchy throat told her it had, indeed she’d been the one splitting everyone’s ears in a one mile radius, including her own.

“Everything is fine Eva, your safe. Nothing can hurt you here. Let me help you up.” Dr Scott put his hands around the back of her shoulders and helped her to sit, before continuing.

“Do you remember where you are?”

It was slowly coming back to her as she listened to his soothing voice. Trapped in her darkness it was the only thing keeping her grounded. But she was still unable to answer his question.

“Do you remember what you were just telling me? about the accident?”

It hit her then. Like a wrecking ball to her chest.  The accident. Her parents. Her brother. The blood, so much blood. It was everywhere. She was completely covered in it, it ran down her face into her eyes and mouth. Her whole world turned red then black.

 ***

She felt air swish around her, she was being lifted. Her back supported on a hard board. She tried to sit up and couldn’t. Her mind was blank. What had happened? The last thing she remembered was lying on Dr Scott’s couch and listening to his velvety voice. She had felt wonderful but now she felt strange, what had happened to her? She opened her eyes to look around, trying to get her bearings. She couldn’t see. She was blind. ‘oh for gods sake, why couldn’t she be normal? Why did this have to happen to her?’ berating herself wasn’t getting any answers though, she was going to have to ask. She felt a hand in hers, it was holding hers gently, then she heard his voice, it was Dr Scott. So she was still in his office! But why couldn’t she get up or move her arms and legs. And why did she feel like she was being carried?

“Um, excuse me Dr Scott can you please tell me what’s going on? Is this part of the procedure?”

She felt herself being lowered. Then she was on solid ground.

“You’re ok dear. Can you tell me your name?” A strange female voice asked her.

 What the hell! Who was this and where was Dr Scott. Had he knocked her out and sold her or something.

“Who the hell are you and where is Dr Scott?” she asked. Then she heard Dr Scott.

“Eva, it’s ok. I’m here and these are paramedics, they’re here to help you.”

Help me, she thought, why would she need help. “I don’t need help. I’m fine, what’s going on here? I may be blind but I’m not insane! What are you doing to me?” She could feel her blood boiling. So Dr Scott couldn’t help her and was palming her off to the nut house, was that it? Well she wasn’t going quietly. “Get me out of this thing, or I will scream this place to the ground! Do you hear me? Let me up NOW!” Dr Scott was trying to calm her down but his velvety voice wasn’t going to fool her again.

 “Eva, please stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Dr Scott was certainly persistent and never raised his voice, it still sounded soothing. “You stopped breathing during our session and I had to call them. I was able to do CPR to get you breathing again, but I thought you should go to hospital and get checked over. That’s why they’re here.”

Eva stopped struggling. Was it possible that he was telling the truth! She did feel out of sorts. The same female spoke to her again.

“Eva, my name is Poppy, and this is my partner Zach. We’re paramedics and only here to help you. I know that you’re scared, and can’t see what’s happening, but I assure you we are here to help you.” Poppy sounded nice Eva thought, surly if something sinister was going on they wouldn’t be this nice to her. They would probably gag her if they weren’t really taking her to hospital. With that thought she calmed down enough to listen to them. She couldn’t really do anything strapped to a gurney anyway. If she was calm they might let her up and then she would be able to attempt to flee if needed.

“Ok, ok, I’m calmer now. It was just a shock to wake up floating and not know why.” She managed to sound almost normal she thought. “Can you please let me out of this thing now? I really don’t need to be strapped down, and I don’t want to go to hospital.” The last word came out a whisper, she had always hated hospitals, there was no way she was going anywhere near one, especially since they couldn’t help her.

“Eva,” Dr Scott interrupted her. “I really think you should go with them and get looked over by a doctor, you were out for quite some time.”

“Let me up and I will think about it.... It’s kinda hard to be rational when I can’t see, and being held prisoner isn’t helping.” There that should get her up, she thought.

 It was the male paramedic that answered her. She tried to recall his name... Zach... that was it. He was talking and untying her at the same time. She would be free in a moment. She breathed a huge sigh of relief and started to sit up.

It was Dr Scott, who helped her to a seat as he continued to plead with her to go to hospital.

But apart from the obvious she felt fine, and wasn’t going to let them bully her into going anywhere. Until she got some answers, like what the hell happened.

***